Pinhole Movie Reviews


One Minute Movie Reviews by tincolor
November 20, 2011, 12:11 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is a site of one minute movie reviews. It is designed for people who need ideas for something to watch. Movies are reviewed on a scale of how recommendable they are. See the rating system for more details.

 



Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker by tincolor
December 20, 2019, 5:20 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Derivative. Pandering. Drivel. Unwatchable.



Rififi (1955) by tincolor
December 17, 2019, 10:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Have you seen a heist movie? Have you seen several heist movies? Would you go so far as to say you like heist movies. Maybe even like like them? Well all your heist movies have seen this one and they all agree this one’s still great. Of the many things this movie does right is establish its characters. You know who they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are before the plot takes over completely, so your watching them react to the things that happen to them rather than just having the plot dictate their actions because it’s convenient. And that’s suspenseful! The actual heist proves that it’s sometimes fun to just watch a plan play even if we know what’s going to happen. Required viewing.



In Fabric (2019) by tincolor
December 17, 2019, 4:19 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

This thriller/horror/avant-garde phantasmagoria follows Marianne Jean-Baptiste and Leo Bill as they are unwittingly ensnared in the satanic fabric of a cursed dress. A cadre (cackle?) of witches run a London boutique that sells presumably normal women’s ware except for one dress that leaves mysterious rashes on its wearer. There are many things I love about this movie, not the least of which is the witches’s dialogue, “did the transaction validate your paradigm of consumerism?” which is suitably off kilter for the bizarro delivery of Fatma Mohamed who was also in director Peter Strickland’s excellent Berberian Sound Studio. There is the supporting cast of mostly memorable characters, the bank branch heads, the music by Stereolab alumnus Cavern of Anti-Matter, and the giallo-esque plot, which is both confounding in its opaqueness and engrossing in its complete originality. If you’ve read this far and are still intrigued I’d say worth watching.

https://youtu.be/biHUTtV4K40



Strangers By The Lake (2013) by tincolor
December 16, 2019, 8:37 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

After no posts for several years, I’m back… and THIS is the film I return with?!?! That’s right. This is the one. This film stars an idyllic lake with many friends who visit it everyday during summer in France. Mostly these friends just sunbathe on the lake’s shores, but sometimes these friends go swimming in the lake, sometimes these friends have sex with each other near the lake, sometimes these friends fall in love near the lake, and sometimes these friends even murder each other near the lake. Part AIDS allegory, part examination of the nature of attraction, part thriller, all French. Oh, yeah, and there’s a lot of unstimulated and very graphic gay sex. Watchable.

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Edge of Tomorrow by William
November 17, 2019, 6:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

Tom Cruise is a soldier who keeps on getting killed in the same battle, over and over, in a futuristic sci-fi version of Groundhog Day. I do remember when this movie was released, although weirdly the marketing plan involved keeping people totally in the dark as to the basic premise of the film. It is, in fact, not nearly as bland as the title suggests, and Tom Cruise and Emily Blount are very enjoyable actors to spend a couple of hours with.  Surprisingly Worth Watching.

Rotten Tomatoes: 90%

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/live_die_repeat_edge_of_tomorrow

The male and female leads, wearing battle armor, holding large guns, and looking battle-worn, stand against an urban background devastated by war. The sky is golden, meteors are falling, and Nelson's Column can be seen in the background.



Shazam! by William
April 21, 2019, 11:10 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Big meets Superman! A kid gets superpowers that transform him into the adult superhero Shazam, resulting in some hilarious kid-style hi-jinks to go along with the standard “fight the bad guy” story. With just one hero and one villain, this movie provides a much-needed break from the complicated forty-superhero extravaganzas that Marvel is making nowadays. Worth watching.

Shazam! theatrical poster.jpg



The Lobster by William
January 29, 2019, 1:51 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Colin Farrell is overweight and living in an absurdist dystopia. Maybe this movie is good if you like people being weird and saying absurd things, but for me it was Unwatchable.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lobster

The Lobster (2015) poster.jpg



The Call (2013) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 6:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

This movie is dumb and bad.  The story follows the abduction of a 15 year old suburban white girl from the parking lot of a strip mall, and I feel like it as written by a 15 year old who was imagining what that experience would have been like.  Halie Berry is the 911 operator taking… the call, wait… thats the name of the movie… deep…  The characters lack any depth or backstory and it feels like that was intentionally done to make it like Speed or something similar.  Which means the entire thing rests on the actor’s performances which were pretty bad.   The abductor’s backstory is sloppily thrown together and stigmatizes the mentally ill.  Halie Berry’s character is particularly drawn to saving this 15 year old girl, and that drive is honestly never really explained, so it just seems fake and overacted.  The violence is gratuitous and unnecessary.  The ending is… horrible; they have an opportunity to bring an abductor to justice but instead they leave him tied up in his torture chamber?  What about all the other people he tortured?  Wouldn’t they like to see him brought to justice?  Shame Halie Berry.  Its a bad bad terrible stupid dumb movie thats bad.  Don’t watch it, in fact figure out the director and never watch any of his or her movies.

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Holmes & Watson (2018) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 4:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

Honestly, did you really expect the movie that I would be reviewing on this site after not having reviewed anything in over a year would be this movie?  Probably not.  I mean, it’s almost like not worth a review, its just another Will Ferrell / John C. Riley buddy comedy.  You already know what its gonna be like before you actually watch it.  But in this day and age, I really need a movie like this, something to numb out to for an hour and a half and laugh.  Not particularly bad, but not particularly good, but I still really enjoyed myself while watching it.  A few good laughs, but not really any memorable moments, although John C. Riley’s baby crush on the Queens pretty funny.  The one thing I will say about this, and I wont turn this into a diatribe in a 1 minute review site, is that the female love interests were too young for these two fellas.   And that stuck in my mind, I kinda couldn’t get over it.  It’s pretty innocuous because it is a pretty goofy buddy comedy and the love story lines are pretty non-existent (probably by design), but come on, just get an age appropriate actress.  Did the Me Too movement mean nothing?  Anyway, not a particularly good movie, but I’d still give it a Watchable

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Pet Semetary (1989) by Thomas
November 12, 2018, 11:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

In this classic schlock fest, a doctor (who looks and acts like he’s from a soap opera) must decide whether to use an ancient Indian burial ground to resurrect his pet/family/family pet. I watched this during the tail end of scary movie season and despite the terrible acting, it’s firmly lodged in my head now. Possibly because of the catchy end credits theme tune by The Ramones? Look out for a cameo by King himself, who also adapted the screenplay from his own novel. (That’s commitment.)  Oh yeah and the amazing campy performance of the great Fred Gwynne. Watchable Plus!




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