Pinhole Movie Reviews

Sexy Beast by Thomas
November 20, 2013, 5:50 pm
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“Gal” is a retired gangster living as an expat in idyllic Spain — until fearsome former colleague Ben Kingsley shows up to give him an assignment. Sir Ben is a psycho, his performance bolstered by the barely concealed anguish that everyone else expresses whenever he’s around.  The film is shot and edited in an abstract, ethereal way that creates a neat contrast to the ever present threat of violence.  Worth watching.

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Sexy Beast

Death Becomes Her by Thomas
November 15, 2013, 9:37 pm
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Meryl Streep is an aging actress who snatches nebbishy plastic surgeon Bruce Willis (an odd casting decision) away from her old high school friend, Goldie Hawn. This parody horror movie tries to poke fun at Hollywood’s fixation with youth and beauty but the result is flat and silly; a fatuous mess.  The filmmakers worked really hard to showcase never-before-seen CG technology, but the story itself suffered. Barely Watchable.


Death Becomes Her

Before Midnight by William
November 12, 2013, 4:15 pm
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The conclusion of the Before Sunset trilogy. This one starts out real Richard Linklater-ey, that is to say, full of kinda high-brow conversation and clever banter which makes for a fun and interesting movie experience, but not much lasting impact. However, the film then proceeds to get ultra “real,” fast.

You just don’t often see in movies such an honest depiction of relationships and lives. Les Poupees Russes comes to mind, but even with that movie’s honesty and rejection of easy solutions, that story was at least shaped into a typical movie format. Before Midnight is much harder to process, because stuff just sort of seems to happen, without necessarily being linked in a linear way to what came before. Kind of like in real life. Alright, here we go: Required Viewing.

Before Midnight poster.jpg

This is the End by jaemskeray
November 11, 2013, 6:43 am
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All of the people in this movie play themselves, which is just so cool.  Seth Rogan and his friend from Undeclared go to a rager at James Franco’s house.  cool.  Tons of famous super cool people are there.  I mean, heck, Rihana is there.  They all stand around singing, which is just so cool because you know Rihana is a singer.  Michael Cera gets 2 girls to suck his super cool dick in the bathroom.  It was so cool that at this point I just had to turn it off.

Look, its great that these people hang out together at parties in real life.  I assume that they would, just as a I assume a bunch of employees who all work at the same Foot Locker probably hang out together.  But I don’t want to watch a film of those people hanging out at a party, I don’t think that would be interesting to watch.  I’m sure it was about to get funny when the end of the world came, but it couldn’t come fast enough for me!  Unwatchable


Hocus Pocus by William
November 3, 2013, 4:00 am
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Three witches try to live forever by killing children. Somehow my Facebook feed and random web browsing  gave me the impression that this movie is some kind of Halloween classic. Well, I’m here to tell you: this movie is bad. How bad? Real bad.  Quite boring and with dialogue that made me cringe, this is a textbook example of a bad kids’ movie. Unwatchable.

Also, I should make it clear for all the families looking for movie advice: this isn’t even actually a kids’ movie. It’s dark and weird, and even though the witches are totally over-the-top. watching them isn’t any fun at all. Not recommended for anyone, neither children nor adults.


All that Heaven Allows by Thomas
November 3, 2013, 1:27 am
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A lonely suburban widow falls in love with her gardener (Rock Hudson) but society doesn’t approve of the match.  This technicolor tearjerker from 1955 is corny and ridiculous — but in a kind of unbelievable way.  The film uses color to enhance the melodrama.  Besides “Umbrellas of Cherbourg,” I’ve never seen a movie with such amazingly coordinated colors.  Definitely Worth checking out


All that Heaven Allows

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