Pinhole Movie Reviews


The Call (2013)
December 29, 2018, 6:07 am
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This movie is dumb and bad.  The story follows the abduction of a 15 year old suburban white girl from the parking lot of a strip mall, and I feel like it as written by a 15 year old who was imagining what that experience would have been like.  Halie Berry is the 911 operator taking… the call, wait… thats the name of the movie… deep…  The characters lack any depth or backstory and it feels like that was intentionally done to make it like Speed or something similar.  Which means the entire thing rests on the actor’s performances which were pretty bad.   The abductor’s backstory is sloppily thrown together and stigmatizes the mentally ill.  Halie Berry’s character is particularly drawn to saving this 15 year old girl, and that drive is honestly never really explained, so it just seems fake and overacted.  The violence is gratuitous and unnecessary.  The ending is… horrible; they have an opportunity to bring an abductor to justice but instead they leave him tied up in his torture chamber?  What about all the other people he tortured?  Wouldn’t they like to see him brought to justice?  Shame Halie Berry.  Its a bad bad terrible stupid dumb movie thats bad.  Don’t watch it, in fact figure out the director and never watch any of his or her movies.

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Holmes & Watson (2018)
December 29, 2018, 4:45 am
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Honestly, did you really expect the movie that I would be reviewing on this site after not having reviewed anything in over a year would be this movie?  Probably not.  I mean, it’s almost like not worth a review, its just another Will Ferrell / John C. Riley buddy comedy.  You already know what its gonna be like before you actually watch it.  But in this day and age, I really need a movie like this, something to numb out to for an hour and a half and laugh.  Not particularly bad, but not particularly good, but I still really enjoyed myself while watching it.  A few good laughs, but not really any memorable moments, although John C. Riley’s baby crush on the Queens pretty funny.  The one thing I will say about this, and I wont turn this into a diatribe in a 1 minute review site, is that the female love interests were too young for these two fellas.   And that stuck in my mind, I kinda couldn’t get over it.  It’s pretty innocuous because it is a pretty goofy buddy comedy and the love story lines are pretty non-existent (probably by design), but come on, just get an age appropriate actress.  Did the Me Too movement mean nothing?  Anyway, not a particularly good movie, but I’d still give it a Watchable

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Arrival
February 26, 2017, 5:14 am
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Lets see, how do I do this again?  … In Arrival, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner are tasked with communicating with a visiting advanced race of extra terrestrial beings.  The movie stays simple and on point, not tasking itself with any more than exploring this idea.  Cuts of the main character’s daughter meeting animals and insects permeates the film, drawing to mind a reference I once heard made about how what we would call an alien abduction is similar to a fish getting caught and then thrown back, albeit from the fish’s perspective.  The special effects are artsy; its not a big explosiony, blockbustery, dumb down the script for mass appeal, sci-fi movie.  Theres a major M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist at the end thats pretty cool, and, not to brag or nothing but I figured it out way before the others I was watching with, ergo I smarter.  I’d say its worth checking out.

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BASEketball
December 14, 2014, 4:56 am
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One question for you: why did I watch this whole thing?  I mean this movie is obviously unwatchable.  It was not funny, poorly acted, about sports (which I generally don’t like), slow, the sport they invented makes no sense, full of very attractive women falling for weird looking men, Reel Big Fish,  theres this whole thing called psychouts where a player on one team stands in front of a player on the other team shooting a BASEketball into a hoop and insults the shooter, and what normally ends up happening is that the protagonists give such a solid insult, that the shooter makes a funny face, looses his balance and then falls over…  I don’t know.  But I watched the whole thing, over two nights.   The only possible explanation I can come up with is I like bad movies.  Unwatchable



The One I Love
September 15, 2014, 1:54 am
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What the what?  The One I Love is a … I’m gonna go with Romantic Comedy about a young couple that has fallen out of love with each other trying to reinvigorate their relationship.  A therapist tells them to go to this house in the mountains for a retreat that he sends all his couple patients to, and then craziness ensues.  I really don’t want to give any of this away because I highly enjoyed it.  This movie twists and turns, and just when you think its one thing it then turns into something else.  Very well crafted.  The only problem with this movie is that once you start to analyze it afterwards, the whole thing falls apart like a house of cards.  But, that doesn’t take away from the joy of watching it.  Worth Checking Out



Under the Skin
August 6, 2014, 12:23 pm
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Jonathan Glazer’s triumphant return to directing is a heart pounding and staggeringly gorgeous film unlike any sci fi or horror film I have ever seen before.  The closest thing I can relate it too is the film 2001.  A woman scours the streets of Glasgow in her van preying on lone men, she seduces them only to – wait – I don’t want to give anything away.  Honestly, even if I told you, half of it would be my interpretation cause this film is aaaaaaartsy.  So its best to go into this movie with a clean slate.   I could interpret and digest this movie for hours, so watch it and let me know what you think!  Apparently, it was shot with hidden cameras, and ScarJo improving with real people half the time, which adds a whole other level to this which is just… crazy.  If this film isn’t Required Viewing, I don’t know what is.



How to Grow a Band
August 6, 2014, 11:47 am
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How to Grow a Band is a documentary about the formation of the Punch Brothers, a bluegrass band meets classical string quintet headed by Nickle Creek frontman Chris Thile.  I am not a big bluegrass fan, not for any particular reason, I just grew up on rock and pop instead.  So my only point of reference for music documentaries is rockumentaries, and this is like a flavorless version of a rockumentary.  No sex, no drugs, and very little inner band squabbling.  For these 5 nice guys who are just living their dreams and can’t believe it, its all about the music, which is again, not my thang.  But their musicianship is incredible and you can’t deny that this is a good and unique band.  Worth Checking Out




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