Pinhole Movie Reviews


The Lobster by William
January 29, 2019, 1:51 pm
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Colin Farrell is overweight and living in an absurdist dystopia. Maybe this movie is good if you like people being weird and saying absurd things, but for me it was Unwatchable.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lobster

The Lobster (2015) poster.jpg

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The Call (2013) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 6:07 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

This movie is dumb and bad.  The story follows the abduction of a 15 year old suburban white girl from the parking lot of a strip mall, and I feel like it as written by a 15 year old who was imagining what that experience would have been like.  Halie Berry is the 911 operator taking… the call, wait… thats the name of the movie… deep…  The characters lack any depth or backstory and it feels like that was intentionally done to make it like Speed or something similar.  Which means the entire thing rests on the actor’s performances which were pretty bad.   The abductor’s backstory is sloppily thrown together and stigmatizes the mentally ill.  Halie Berry’s character is particularly drawn to saving this 15 year old girl, and that drive is honestly never really explained, so it just seems fake and overacted.  The violence is gratuitous and unnecessary.  The ending is… horrible; they have an opportunity to bring an abductor to justice but instead they leave him tied up in his torture chamber?  What about all the other people he tortured?  Wouldn’t they like to see him brought to justice?  Shame Halie Berry.  Its a bad bad terrible stupid dumb movie thats bad.  Don’t watch it, in fact figure out the director and never watch any of his or her movies.

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Holmes & Watson (2018) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 4:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

Honestly, did you really expect the movie that I would be reviewing on this site after not having reviewed anything in over a year would be this movie?  Probably not.  I mean, it’s almost like not worth a review, its just another Will Ferrell / John C. Riley buddy comedy.  You already know what its gonna be like before you actually watch it.  But in this day and age, I really need a movie like this, something to numb out to for an hour and a half and laugh.  Not particularly bad, but not particularly good, but I still really enjoyed myself while watching it.  A few good laughs, but not really any memorable moments, although John C. Riley’s baby crush on the Queens pretty funny.  The one thing I will say about this, and I wont turn this into a diatribe in a 1 minute review site, is that the female love interests were too young for these two fellas.   And that stuck in my mind, I kinda couldn’t get over it.  It’s pretty innocuous because it is a pretty goofy buddy comedy and the love story lines are pretty non-existent (probably by design), but come on, just get an age appropriate actress.  Did the Me Too movement mean nothing?  Anyway, not a particularly good movie, but I’d still give it a Watchable

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Pet Semetary (1989) by Thomas
November 12, 2018, 11:10 pm
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In this classic schlock fest, a doctor (who looks and acts like he’s from a soap opera) must decide whether to use an ancient Indian burial ground to resurrect his pet/family/family pet. I watched this during the tail end of scary movie season and despite the terrible acting, it’s firmly lodged in my head now. Possibly because of the catchy end credits theme tune by The Ramones? Look out for a cameo by King himself, who also adapted the screenplay from his own novel. (That’s commitment.)  Oh yeah and the amazing campy performance of the great Fred Gwynne. Watchable Plus!



Lady Bird by William
March 3, 2018, 10:17 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

In 2002-03, Lady Bird spends her senior year of high school fighting with her family and trying to figure out how to become an adult. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie this good. Worth watching (plus).

Lady Bird poster.jpeg



Arrival by jaemskeray
February 26, 2017, 5:14 am
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Lets see, how do I do this again?  … In Arrival, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner are tasked with communicating with a visiting advanced race of extra terrestrial beings.  The movie stays simple and on point, not tasking itself with any more than exploring this idea.  Cuts of the main character’s daughter meeting animals and insects permeates the film, drawing to mind a reference I once heard made about how what we would call an alien abduction is similar to a fish getting caught and then thrown back, albeit from the fish’s perspective.  The special effects are artsy; its not a big explosiony, blockbustery, dumb down the script for mass appeal, sci-fi movie.  Theres a major M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist at the end thats pretty cool, and, not to brag or nothing but I figured it out way before the others I was watching with, ergo I smarter.  I’d say its worth checking out.

arrival2c_movie_poster



The Lego Batman Movie by William
February 11, 2017, 4:26 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

Batman is a Lego figure who has to confront his arch-enemy, the Joker, whose mains goals are 1.) Taking over Gotham City and 2.) Forcing Batman to accept that they are arch-enemies. As one might expect from the previous Lego movie, the tone of this movie is similar to that of the Batman TV series. It is indeed quite funny and silly, but not too silly and the plot is reasonably well-developed. Worth Watching.

The Lego Batman Movie PromotionalPoster.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lego_Batman_Movie




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