Pinhole Movie Reviews


Shazam! by William
April 21, 2019, 11:10 am
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Big meets Superman! A kid gets superpowers that transform him into the adult superhero Shazam, resulting in some hilarious kid-style hi-jinks to go along with the standard “fight the bad guy” story. With just one hero and one villain, this movie provides a much-needed break from the complicated forty-superhero extravaganzas that Marvel is making nowadays. Worth watching.

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The Call (2013) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 6:07 am
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This movie is dumb and bad.  The story follows the abduction of a 15 year old suburban white girl from the parking lot of a strip mall, and I feel like it as written by a 15 year old who was imagining what that experience would have been like.  Halie Berry is the 911 operator taking… the call, wait… thats the name of the movie… deep…  The characters lack any depth or backstory and it feels like that was intentionally done to make it like Speed or something similar.  Which means the entire thing rests on the actor’s performances which were pretty bad.   The abductor’s backstory is sloppily thrown together and stigmatizes the mentally ill.  Halie Berry’s character is particularly drawn to saving this 15 year old girl, and that drive is honestly never really explained, so it just seems fake and overacted.  The violence is gratuitous and unnecessary.  The ending is… horrible; they have an opportunity to bring an abductor to justice but instead they leave him tied up in his torture chamber?  What about all the other people he tortured?  Wouldn’t they like to see him brought to justice?  Shame Halie Berry.  Its a bad bad terrible stupid dumb movie thats bad.  Don’t watch it, in fact figure out the director and never watch any of his or her movies.

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Holmes & Watson (2018) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 4:45 am
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Honestly, did you really expect the movie that I would be reviewing on this site after not having reviewed anything in over a year would be this movie?  Probably not.  I mean, it’s almost like not worth a review, its just another Will Ferrell / John C. Riley buddy comedy.  You already know what its gonna be like before you actually watch it.  But in this day and age, I really need a movie like this, something to numb out to for an hour and a half and laugh.  Not particularly bad, but not particularly good, but I still really enjoyed myself while watching it.  A few good laughs, but not really any memorable moments, although John C. Riley’s baby crush on the Queens pretty funny.  The one thing I will say about this, and I wont turn this into a diatribe in a 1 minute review site, is that the female love interests were too young for these two fellas.   And that stuck in my mind, I kinda couldn’t get over it.  It’s pretty innocuous because it is a pretty goofy buddy comedy and the love story lines are pretty non-existent (probably by design), but come on, just get an age appropriate actress.  Did the Me Too movement mean nothing?  Anyway, not a particularly good movie, but I’d still give it a Watchable

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Lady Bird by William
March 3, 2018, 10:17 am
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In 2002-03, Lady Bird spends her senior year of high school fighting with her family and trying to figure out how to become an adult. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie this good. Worth watching (plus).

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Arrival by jaemskeray
February 26, 2017, 5:14 am
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Lets see, how do I do this again?  … In Arrival, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner are tasked with communicating with a visiting advanced race of extra terrestrial beings.  The movie stays simple and on point, not tasking itself with any more than exploring this idea.  Cuts of the main character’s daughter meeting animals and insects permeates the film, drawing to mind a reference I once heard made about how what we would call an alien abduction is similar to a fish getting caught and then thrown back, albeit from the fish’s perspective.  The special effects are artsy; its not a big explosiony, blockbustery, dumb down the script for mass appeal, sci-fi movie.  Theres a major M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist at the end thats pretty cool, and, not to brag or nothing but I figured it out way before the others I was watching with, ergo I smarter.  I’d say its worth checking out.

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Heaven Knows What (2014) by tincolor
August 31, 2016, 4:19 am
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Arielle Holmes is addicted. If the heroin doesn’t kill her then her frighteningly unstable boyfriend Caleb Landry Jones definitely will. This movie is INTENSE! Holmes brings both the realism and dramatic skill necessary to sell a performance like this on screen. The cinematography alternates between tightly framed closeups and deceptively restrictive long shots, visually alluding to the constricted world these characters live in. Despite impressive performances, interesting visuals and a hard-hitting soundtrack, the lead characters just aren’t that interesting. Their relationship feels like a Shakespearian tragedy sabotaged by the tediousness of addiction, both chemical and emotional. Watchable.

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All is Lost by William
February 20, 2016, 5:08 am
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Robert Redford is out on the ocean alone when his boat gets hit by a wayward shipping container. The rest of the movie he spends quietly trying not to die. Perhaps because of the almost complete lack of dialogue, the movie feels unique and compelling. Worth watching.

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