Pinhole Movie Reviews

Twins by tincolor

Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger are twins; one’s big and the other’s small, one’s fast talking and devious and the other is Austrian for some reason and totally naive. And that’s the whole movie. No seriously, there is a plot, but it’s a plot that only takes advantage of the fact that DeVito and Schwarzenegger are twins in the most superficial of ways. I’m going to have to give this a low watchable.

Twins Poster.jpg

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines by William
June 29, 2012, 4:53 pm
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He’s back! Arnold Schwarzenegger is a robot who’s got to go back in time again to save John Connor from being killed again. Also Claire Danes. This movie has so much stuff lifted from the other Terminator movies that it’s almost feels like a remake, right down to Arnold showing up naked and having to get some clothes from a motorcycle guy in a bar. It definitely leans more toward pure action than its predecessor, without even the attempt at a “Terminators can learn to love” moral that was in T2.  Not every action movie can be a masterpiece, but this one is Worth Checking Out.

Predator by tincolor
June 21, 2012, 4:32 am
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80s action flick staples Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Jessie Ventura duke it out in the jungles of Central America with an invisible alien. There really isn’t much to this movie, so it’s kind of a miracle that it’s so entertaining. After a long, suspenseful first 2/3rds, the film ends with the final showdown between Schwarzenegger and the Predator in a satisfying series of explosions and interplanetary uppercuts. Worth checking out.

Commando by tincolor
February 11, 2012, 3:59 am
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Schwarzenegger is an ex-commando who is forced to go on one last killing spree to free his daughter. Out of all the Arnie films I’ve seen, this has to be both the most violent and the campiest. Some minor roles by Bill Paxton and a Twin Peaks actor whose name I’m to lazy too look up. Schwarzenegger’s kill lines are pretty funny and bring the film up to a solid Watchable.

Collateral Damage by tincolor
December 21, 2011, 12:17 pm
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Arnie goes on a killing spree in Columbia to avenge the death of his wife and child. Another dead kid movie!? Come on! This one is actually pretty good for late period Arnold Schwarzenegger, except for the last 20 minutes when the plot takes a turn for silly land. Watchable.


Jingle All The Way by William
December 21, 2011, 6:19 am
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The all-time smash-hit holiday classic! Though Arnold Schwarzenegger makes the non-stop ridiculousness more bearable, this is still quite a bad movie. Barely watchable.

Last Action Hero by William
December 3, 2011, 11:59 pm
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Alright, you have to appreciate a movie in which the main character is warned not to trust an FBI agent played by F. Murray Abraham because “he killed Mozart.” Not a great movie, but an interesting premise and they do a decent job with it. Worth checking out.

 Last Action Hero – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Total Recall by tincolor
Totall Recall. I really don’t like this movie. It’s classic Verhoeven at his cheesiest and least comprehensible. The whole movie just screams half-hearted. Even Arnie, who I actually really like, can’t save it. But he DID manage to save the DVD commentary. Movie: Watchable. DVD commentary: Worth Watching.

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