Pinhole Movie Reviews


Shazam! by William
April 21, 2019, 11:10 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Big meets Superman! A kid gets superpowers that transform him into the adult superhero Shazam, resulting in some hilarious kid-style hi-jinks to go along with the standard “fight the bad guy” story. With just one hero and one villain, this movie provides a much-needed break from the complicated forty-superhero extravaganzas that Marvel is making nowadays. Worth watching.

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Holmes & Watson (2018) by jaemskeray
December 29, 2018, 4:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

Honestly, did you really expect the movie that I would be reviewing on this site after not having reviewed anything in over a year would be this movie?  Probably not.  I mean, it’s almost like not worth a review, its just another Will Ferrell / John C. Riley buddy comedy.  You already know what its gonna be like before you actually watch it.  But in this day and age, I really need a movie like this, something to numb out to for an hour and a half and laugh.  Not particularly bad, but not particularly good, but I still really enjoyed myself while watching it.  A few good laughs, but not really any memorable moments, although John C. Riley’s baby crush on the Queens pretty funny.  The one thing I will say about this, and I wont turn this into a diatribe in a 1 minute review site, is that the female love interests were too young for these two fellas.   And that stuck in my mind, I kinda couldn’t get over it.  It’s pretty innocuous because it is a pretty goofy buddy comedy and the love story lines are pretty non-existent (probably by design), but come on, just get an age appropriate actress.  Did the Me Too movement mean nothing?  Anyway, not a particularly good movie, but I’d still give it a Watchable

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While We’re Young (2015) by tincolor

40-somethings Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts are thrust into an existential and marital crisis after meeting young hipsters Adam Driver and Amanda Seyfried. Having such fully realized characters really helps this movie explore multiple themes and ideas simultaneously without ever feeling scatterbrained. There’s of course the theme that’s on the poster – the disconnect between physical age and how old you “feel” inside, but it’s also a movie about, among other things, creativity, procrastination, ambition, friendship, marriage, authenticity and loyalty. Absolutely worth watching and one of my favorite recent movies.

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BASEketball by jaemskeray
December 14, 2014, 4:56 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

One question for you: why did I watch this whole thing?  I mean this movie is obviously unwatchable.  It was not funny, poorly acted, about sports (which I generally don’t like), slow, the sport they invented makes no sense, full of very attractive women falling for weird looking men, Reel Big Fish,  theres this whole thing called psychouts where a player on one team stands in front of a player on the other team shooting a BASEketball into a hoop and insults the shooter, and what normally ends up happening is that the protagonists give such a solid insult, that the shooter makes a funny face, looses his balance and then falls over…  I don’t know.  But I watched the whole thing, over two nights.   The only possible explanation I can come up with is I like bad movies.  Unwatchable



A Long Way Down by William
November 1, 2014, 3:50 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Based on a novel by Nick Hornby, four people independently decide to jump off of the same building at the same time, but don’t do it and instead spend the rest of the movie becoming unlikely friends. They also spend the rest of the movie acting like people extremely unlikely to commit suicide. The movie never really develops characters the viewer can believe in or identify with, nor much of a plot, for that matter. About A Boy it ain’t. Barely watchable.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Long_Way_Down_(film)



Fading Gigolo by tincolor

John Turturro and Woody Allen conspire to market Turturro as a gigolo to older women in New York City. This film wants to be an off-beat comedy with just enough raunchiness to make audiences feel like they saw a movie for adults, and just enough heart to make them feel OK about all the raunchy bits. It wants to be that kind of film, but it can’t, it’s just not possible, not when your lead is as creepy as Turturro manages to be. He plays it cool and calm, but instead of coming across as a quiet, kind-hearted soul, he’s got this very unappealing predatory vibe that totally made my stomach turn. The ending, too. It’s terrible, confusing and poorly executed. I also hated the soundtrack, which sounded like it came from a CD pulled of the the discount jazz rack. Watchable, but just barely, so I guess, barely watchable?

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Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? by tincolor
September 6, 2014, 7:37 am
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Robert Morley is a morbidly obese food critic who is also a total a-hole. Now all of his favorite cooks are getting bumped off one by one. This film is a classic case of, “great title, shitty film.” I got maybe 40 minutes into it before I turned it off, read the plot summary on Wikipedia to see who this killer is and promptly went to bed. There are so many sins that this movie commits, but I’ll just list the top three: 1) All the characters are unlikeable, 2) It takes too long to get to the first murder, and 3) It’s just not interesting or funny or anything that would make me want to keep watching it. Unwatchable.

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