Pinhole Movie Reviews

G.I. Joe : Rise of the Cobra by tincolor

Hot “it” actors like Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller are caught up in an international battle between good and evil, Hasbro style. Basically, the G.I. Joe are international policemen who are out to stop an international band of criminals that include betrayed family members and jilted girlfriends. There’s a lot of hate going around for this movie, and while it’s got its faults, I have to say, the first G.I. Joe movie is actually watchable. It’s biggest flaw was not going far enough with a goofy, over-the-top style. In the end, it felt just a little too, “gritty” for its own good. Watchable. 

In the center of the image are the titles and credits. Above them, in front of a brown background with orange flames and "Evil never looked so good" in red letters, a man in a hooded white suit holding a sword, a woman wearing sunglasses and a leather suit holding two guns, a masked man in battle fatigues holding a rifle, and a scarred man wearing a mask that covers his face below the eye. Below, against a blue background and blue flames, with "When all else fails, they don't" in blue letters, a man in a black bodysuit with a visor in his face holding a sword, and two men and women in leather suits holding guns.


Vantage Point by tincolor

Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, Sigourney Weaver and William Hurt all make appearances in this Rashamon-esque thriller about an attempt on the US President’s life. Whitaker gives the most God awful performance that it’s almost worth watching his scenes just to see what bad acting looks like. The rest of the characters basically phone in all their performances except for Dennis Quaid, who apparently had a very bad case of constipation during the 2 days it must have taken to shoot this turd of a movie. Unwatchable.

Flight of the Phoenix (2004) by tincolor

A group of C list actors who have crashed in the desert is lead to safety by Giovanni Ribisi doing a laughably bad nerdy voice and a visibly apathetic Dennis Quaid. Do you like watching people argue in circles? Do you like scripts that call for actors to have sudden bursts of emotion in one scene and then joke around in the next scene like nothing happened? Do you like bad movies? Then you are going to love Flight of the Phoenix! Barely watchable only because the airplane is pretty cool looking.

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