Pinhole Movie Reviews

Pet Semetary (1989) by Thomas
November 12, 2018, 11:10 pm
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In this classic schlock fest, a doctor (who looks and acts like he’s from a soap opera) must decide whether to use an ancient Indian burial ground to resurrect his pet/family/family pet. I watched this during the tail end of scary movie season and despite the terrible acting, it’s firmly lodged in my head now. Possibly because of the catchy end credits theme tune by The Ramones? Look out for a cameo by King himself, who also adapted the screenplay from his own novel. (That’s commitment.)  Oh yeah and the amazing campy performance of the great Fred Gwynne. Watchable Plus!

The Brood by tincolor
September 9, 2014, 9:26 am
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Oliver Reed is a suspiciously evil-looking psychoanalyst whose treatment includes verbally abusing his patients until they explode with anger. When the family members of one of his patients start getting murdered one by one, it’s clear that something bad is happening as a result of the doctor’s treatments. This early David Cronenberg film is genuinely creepy and very, very gross, but you’ve got to expect that with Cronenberg. What I didn’t expect was to see someone bludgeoned to death in front of no less than 10 toddlers. Is this OK? I really don’t think so, I mean, if I were a toddler and my mom put me on a movie set where someone was realistically beaten not two feet away from me with lots of blood squirting all over the place, I would be A) pissed at my mom, and B) seriously traumatized for life. But if you can get past all that, this is top-shelf B-horror. Expertly directed, a great performance from Oliver Reed and a great buildup to an ending that is just the right combination of ludicrous and dark. Worth checking out, but only if you are in for a really violent and disturbing film.



Cold Fish / 冷たい熱帯魚 by tincolor
August 1, 2014, 1:58 am
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Mitsuru Fukikoshi is married to a horrible woman who has a horrible daughter by a previous marriage and together the three live horribly miserable lives running a tropical fish store in Japan. When the Fukikoshis meet a seemingly happy couple that coincidentally also runs a much larger and more successful tropical fish store, things start to look up, until you realize that everything and everyone is horrible and evil and disgusting inside. This is not a horror movie it’s just a horrible movie made by horrible people that take delight in mutilating the human body and spreading mistrust among their fellow man. Can you tell I hate this movie? Terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, direction, a plot that is so hateful I wish I could forget it and acting that is worse than even the worst high school play. No rating could possibly describe how hateful and awful this movie is.


The House of the Devil by tincolor


Jocelin Donahue is a college co-ed desperately in need of cash for a downpayment on her new apartment. So when she’s offered a high-paying babysitting job from creepy Tom Noonan and his equally creepy wife, the choice is obvious: order a pizza, break some shit in the house and start opening doors you shouldn’t be opening. I’m not a huge horror fan, but I like my fair share of scares, and man did this movie scare me. Buckle in for 45 minutes of slow-burning buildup followed by a finale that manages to be gruesome without going off the rails. Bonus: It looks like John Carpenter’s long lost companion piece to Halloween. Worth checking out for horror fans.


We Need to Talk About Kevin by William
June 9, 2014, 4:58 pm
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No we don’t. Unwatchable!

We need to talk about kevin ver2.jpg

PS. Tom disagrees. Myself, I watched 45 minutes and it was too many.

Death Becomes Her by Thomas
November 15, 2013, 9:37 pm
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Meryl Streep is an aging actress who snatches nebbishy plastic surgeon Bruce Willis (an odd casting decision) away from her old high school friend, Goldie Hawn. This parody horror movie tries to poke fun at Hollywood’s fixation with youth and beauty but the result is flat and silly; a fatuous mess.  The filmmakers worked really hard to showcase never-before-seen CG technology, but the story itself suffered. Barely Watchable.


Death Becomes Her

Rosemary’s Baby by Thomas

A young Mia Farrow gets pregnant, but her husband is acting really sketch about it for some reason…This is a terrific horror movie — perhaps because it’s more of a psychological thriller with horror elements. Polanski creates a stifling atmosphere of powerlessness and paranoia, which builds to a frightening climax. Required viewing.


Rosemary’s Baby

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