Pinhole Movie Reviews

The Lego Movie by tincolor

Everyone who is hot in Hollywood today stars in this film about Lego men and women and the evil Lego man that only want things built according to the instruction manual for reasons that only become clear during the last third of the film at precisely the same time when you might feel like you need a break from all the non-stop frenetic, hectic, out your mind kinetic action, and coincidentally ALSO at precisely the same time when you may find yourself pleasantly surprised to discover that there’s a twist that’s heartwarming and cute and a little bit like a nudge in the shoulder and a wink out of the corner of the eye, but it also doesn’t really make sense logically, so if that’s gonna bother you then just don’t want the movie, but if your nine years old or you just want to watch a kids movie about Legos, then get ready to enjoy incredible production design and some of the best action sequences that have ever been realized on the screen! (Phew! That’s a long sentence. But to to prove my point, The Lego Movie is a pretty exhausting experience that often feels like you are watching an fast-paced movie that’s been speed up to test limits of human comprehension.) Worth checking out.


Lucy by jaemskeray
July 29, 2014, 2:22 am
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The average person uses 10% of their brain, imagine what she could do with 100%.  Ok, let me try… hmm…  wait… waaaaait… I… I… can’t.  Since I can only use 10% of my brain, it is impossible for me to imagine what it would be like to use it all.  But, it would probably be spectacular.  What it wouldn’t be is anything like this movie though.  Lucy is a film that is not that good.  The writing and directing are, in fact, bad, which in turn, led to bad acting (well, given the circumstances, I think they did the best they could).  The only thing that was good was the special effects, but now-a-days, thats not really all that special.   This movie tries to be epic and unique but fails miserably, and if your in a silly mood, hilariously!  For example, at the end, ScarJo turns into a super computer and gives MorFree a sparkly USB stick with all the knowledge of the universe on it.  But, why didn’t she just put it in the cloud?  You gotta back that shit up, ScarJo!  Also the 10% thing is a myth.  Barely watchable!

Under Suspicion (2000) by tincolor

Gene Hackman is a pillar of the Puerto Rican community, which makes this nasty business of dead middle-school girls all the more awkward for police chief Morgan Freeman and his hot headed right-hand-goon Tom Jane. This is the kind of movie where the ending is everything, so if you don’t buy the ending, or in this case, understand what happened and have to google: “Under Suspicion ending WTF”, your movie is in trouble. The idea is interesting, but they just really didn’t pull it off. I blame the performances which are bland and uninspired.  A low watchable.

The Contract by tincolor
October 24, 2012, 4:29 am
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Morgan Freeman is some kind of contract killer that gets caught for a very stupid reason, then runs away, then runs into John Cusack, who is “patching things up” with his son on a camping trip. It’s weird to see Mr. Freeman in a semi-villainous role, he’s not blatantly miscast, but he also doesn’t quite fit. Overall an unbelievable and forgettable thriller with too many subplots. Watchable.


Invictus by Thomas
October 9, 2012, 6:12 am
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This movie tries to argue that South Africa’s victory in the 1995 Rugby World Cup helped bring the nation together after apartheid.  That’s an interesting thought…but along the way it also seems to equate Nelson Mandela’s struggles in prison with the athleticism of a group of white rugby players?  It’s a hard pill to swallow. Also, how come every sports movie is so serious these days?  Clint Eastwood directed this lofty Oscar contender with lots of grandeur and not much subtlety.  Not un-fun to watch, particularly the Morgan Freeman parts. Watchable.




The Dark Knight Rises by tincolor

Christian Bale puts on his cape and mask one last time and teams up with cat burglar Anne Hathaway in a last ditch effort to stop madman Tom Hardy from destroying Gotham City. At this point in time it feels like no one needs or wants a recommendation for this film, so, I write to a younger generation, a generation that will grow up watching this long, generally boring and one-note action flick on DVD or whatever. Christopher Nolan seems incapable of creating any sense of suspense or expectation in his films. Watching DNR is like barreling down a steep mountain road in a Lamborghini that has had its breaks cut and its accelerator taped down to the floor.  You can’t really hear anything because the sound of the engine is deafening, and so much is zipping by you so quickly that can’t focus on anything that isn’t life or death important. Still at least you’re in a Lamborghini. Watchable.

Shawshank Redemption by jaemskeray
March 22, 2012, 4:19 am
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Ok, so this movie has been on tv for the past 3 nights in a row, so I think I have to review it.  Smart banker and rocks enthusiast Tim Robbins is sent to 1940s jail for killing his wife.  But theres just one catch: hes the only innocent man in Shawshank!  At prison Tim meets Morgan Freeman, and they fall in love: man love.  Just talking about two dudes choosing to love each other and spend the rest of there days building boats together, but not having sex with each other.  Actually, this movie is about man love, save for Rita Hayworth there are no women in this movie.  Required Viewing.  Disagree?  How can you be so obtuse?

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